Big Day Tomorrow

Well, hello there, friends.  It’s been longer than planned, as it always seems to be.  But no matter, I’m still here, still typing, which is better than nothing, right?  Or maybe not.  Oh well.

So.  Best news first.  I’m having top surgery tomorrow.  I’ve been meaning to update here earlier, but I had my pre-op assessment on Thursday last week, and I’m due for admission for bilateral mastectomy tomorrow at 11am.  Cue dramatic music.

I’m less nervous than I thought I’d be.  Even in the pre-op assessment, when they had to do all kinds of tests and swabs and things, and I had to see several different people for several different things, but I panicked no more than any other time I’m outside.  And the parts about tomorrow that worry me most are the interactive bits.  I’ve been told that there will be people galore coming and going and lots of chaos, albeit in an organised way, and the fact that people will have to be trusted completely, when I’m unconscious, to Do Their Thing despite my existence as a strange little lump of confused humanity (and thus, of course, worthy of nothing other than ridicule and pain, according to the angry little bastard inside my phobic brain cells).

The procedure itself worries me far less, amusingly, even though it turned out that I need the double incision despite my initial sort-of-flat-chestedness (Mr Yelland, my surgeon, took his first look and said “too much skin”).  Ditto for the recovery.  Uni starts up again on Monday, and I have computer lab sessions that day which I don’t intend to miss.  I guess that makes a point about how easily my phobey brain can take over most things with its own selfish agenda: panic, and lots of it.  Just not about the logical things.  Anyway.

I’ve got some packing to do (these people will be seeing me sans clothes, which is terrifying, but I will fill my bags with everything soft for post-operative comfort purposes, the thought of which makes up for it somewhat), so I’ll stop typing there.

Updates to come when I’m back.  Hopefully.

About JC

I'm a no-longer-nameless trans asexual autistic, chemistry undergraduate at a London university, pronoun enthusiast, amateur photographer and budding proofreader. Son of Optimus. Join me and be amazed. Or just join me. The sense of awe and wonder is optional.
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11 Responses to Big Day Tomorrow

  1. doubleinvert says:

    Congratulations on the top surgery, Mr. Prime! Wishing you a speedy recovery!


    • JC says:

      Thanks, Connie – I’m doing well now, although there was some trouble with a bleed on my right side straight after surgery; mostly back to normal now, and my mood is already rising steadily as a result!


  2. Jamie Ray says:

    Good luck with the surgery and recovery. Don’t do any heavy lifting- metaphorically or literally.

  3. Hi JC, thanks for stopping by my blog. I trust all will go well with your surgery and I hope you will post about your recovery.

  4. Eli says:


    I’m in process of crawling out of my internet-hole, meaning, I’ve been out in the world and am now returning to report back to my blog. How are you?

    Let me tell you: firstly, you are missed. Now, you go:

    • JC says:


      Sorry it’s taken so long to reply; I’ve been more crushed than ever by the dreaded uni workload, and am now doing Actual Paid Work over the summer, which is great experience but simultaneously Death By Commuting, and I’m failing miserably at keeping up with anything aside from the very basics of existence… but I’ve just caught up with your Shiny New Posts on the Shiny New Layout, and am very glad you’re back and blogging!

      I’ve got a half-typed post with a full timeline of surgery stuff and recovery photos, which I have really got to damn well finish, but it’s eight months on now and all has been well in that regard – I didn’t even need painkillers when I was home, which was oddly comforting – and now the scars are pinkening (and my fingers continue to weave new words at an alarming rate, apparently) and life is mostly stable and… my brain has formed a tentative truce with the rest of me, so here’s hoping it lasts this time. Aaaand… eeee. Just eeee.

      I’ve missed you too, friend, and am pleased to experience the Warm, Fuzzy Feeling that comes from reading your posts and knowing you’re alive, well and flourishing once again 😀


      • Eli says:


        So glad to see you are alive and well(ish) too! Very very happy to hear you’re post-op and healing well and have missed your voice and new words and gush gush gush what a pair of nellies we are. Ugh. But for real: don’t disappear on me again, at least not for a little while.


  5. Elias says:



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