Changes

I’ve had some fun over the past few months on my daily three-hour commute.  At first, I enjoyed the independence, as well as the people-watching.  The views on my Overground route were also interesting… which is the point of this post.  In particular, during the first few weeks of uni, there were a couple of sights I looked forward to passing: an interestingly-shaped tree, and a graffiti-covered hut.

The tree was interesting purely because of its shape.  It was more of a stump than a fully-grown tree, but it just stood out whenever I passed it.  This was the first reason why I was desperate to replace our broken digital camera as soon as possible.

The hut was very near to the tree, just at the edge of the field where it stood.  Up until very recently, I thought it was deliberately covered in graffiti by kids, you know, like one of those projects designed to inspire kids to be creative?  Hopefully you know what I mean.  Anyway.  It looked really good, and I liked the thought that people were open-minded and… cool about things, so it was another thing I wanted to have immortalised on my computer screen.

We got a new camera, but still – sadly – I missed my chance.  If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that I have passed them twice a day, five days a week… on the train.  So it’s not exactly easy to get a photo whenever I feel like it.  No, my plan was to find their actual location, somehow, and to get the photos then.  But as I said, I missed my chance.

The Start
It started with the tree.  When winter arrived, swifter than expected after the weirdly sweltering autumn, it was too dark in both the morning and the evening to get anywhere with the hopeful photography, and uni took up all the light parts of the day.  And by the time it was light again, when I first saw the tree again in the light of the afternoon commute… it had been chopped down.  It was still there, but lying on its side, next to its pitiful remaining stump, presumably in great agony, with no voice to express it.

It’s still there.  But I feel too pained to try and visit it.  I lost my chance, and it saddens me.

The End
And then, about a week ago, the hut went as well.  As I passed it in the morning, I noticed its purple background was now bottle green (which in itself reminds me of my own school days – from which I’ve only recently escaped – and not in a good way).  Its former foreground, the jumbled creativity splattered all over the walls, was gone.

And Then He Was Sad.
For those who know me and who are only just joining us, no, that is not a typing error.  “He” is correct.  Or “they” is OK, I suppose, if you must be stubborn.

Anyway.  Back to the point.

I missed my chance.  As I’ve said over and over by now.  Life, as it is now, makes it very difficult for people to find the time to fit in things they actually want to do amongst the things they don’t.  I’ve not even joined the Rat Race yet, and I’m all too aware of that fact.  And it depresses me no end.

I think all I’m trying to say in this post is simple.  Don’t lose the little things.  They’re incredibly easy to ignore or discard when the pressures of Life In General start to crush you from above, but they can make all the difference sometimes.  Keep you going.  Like this blog is doing for me.  But that’s an overenthusiastic bouncy Shiny Post for another time.  For now, I’m done.

Go forth, good people, and find your trees.

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About JC

I'm a no-longer-nameless trans asexual autistic, chemistry undergraduate at a London university, pronoun enthusiast, amateur photographer and budding proofreader. Son of Optimus. Join me and be amazed. Or just join me. The sense of awe and wonder is optional.
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